May 16, 2013.
We three got back to the hotel around 5:30, after which I took a shower and drank as much water as I could without making myself sick. I actually took the cup into the shower with me, continuing to fill and drink, fill and drink, fill and drink… the whole I was in there. I slept for about 90 minutes before I got up and headed down to breakfast where I picked over a croissant and drank no less than 150 cups of coffee.
We have a bike tour of Prague today and I haven’t ridden a bike since I was somewhere close to 14. I was so nervous that my hands shook all the way to the bike shop. The guys were super cool. Three different guides, so we could split into smaller groups and it would be easier for the groups to stay together while riding through the city. Our guide was Andre. He was super cute in that long hair, don’t care, probably smokes a lot of weed while saving the planet by recycling kind of way. We got our bikes and, quite surprisingly, I didn’t fall off right away. No. That waited until the first turn. Luckily, I was last in the group, aside from Lucian. So when I rode headfirst into traffic, trying to make my bike turn… finally getting it to turn, but not leaning right, and dumping myself on the cobblestones, he was the only witness.
Speaking of cobblestones, I have a pearl of wisdom for you. FYI: this is going to involve me referencing lady bits more than I normally do in my posts, but sometimes it’s necessary. If you are going to do a bike tour through the BEAUTIFUL, cobbley, stony streets of Prague, I’m going to recommend that you layer yourself up with 5-7 adult diapers. Now, I’m not suggesting that cycling will saddle you with a continence problem. No. I am, however, flat out telling you that if the idea of getting drop kicked in your treasure box, repeatedly, for 2-3 hours isn’t your idea of a good time, you may experience some discomfort. Being unskilled in the arena of pedaling lore, I didn’t figure out how to stand up until over halfway through. I also could not sit comfortably until a week after I got home.
Aside from the saddle soreness, the tour was really lovely, and I actually preferred it to the walking tour. Andre showed us some really unusual and less traveled places, rather than all of the top tourist destinations. He included a few pieces of the most… er… thought provoking art by controversial Czech artist David Černý. I’m not the artsiest person ever, but even I found his stuff interesting. Here are some of the pieces we saw:
Then we went to the creepiest one EVER:
The most controversial:
The two men rotate at the hips and their penises swivel so that while they relieve themselves, they write out quotes from famous Czech citizens. However, if you text a number posted by the display, they will interrupt their well known quote writing to pee out your earth-moving, war ending words. Andre said that the bronze work is said to signify that, following the joining of the EU, anyone from East or the West could piss on the Czech Republic as they pleased. It sits right outside the Franz Kafka Museum, hence the big K in the background. Hey! Speaking of Kafka:
We also saw the Powder Gate, which sits right next to the Municipal House where we ate dinner the first night in Prague. It is so called because it was used to store gun powder. Andre said baby powder initially. I believed him.
After the bike tour we ate lunch in Old Town Square at some English restaurant. While we were sitting there is was so windy that the table umbrellas blew over, after being ripped right out of the concrete. We regrouped in the little square right near our hotel. I had to run back upstairs and take off my tights that had gotten bike grease all over them and freshen up just a bit and we had to get Liam, whose lazy butt slept through the bike tour… as if 90 minutes of sleep isn’t adequate! Tavis, Liam, Julian, Katherine Daniela and I walked down some road with a nonsensical name until we arrived at this massive shopping area. It was twice as wide as the normal streets because there was a big pedestrian area in the middle.
The road ran uphill and ended when it met with this massive building. Some guy approached us as soon as we arrived and invited us to a party. When we asked what kind of a party, he told us it was in ICE CREAM party. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I couldn’t think of a better idea. Then he ruined my entire life by telling us he was kidding and that it was the pub crawl we had done the night before. No thanks. It was fun, but once was definitely enough.
Dani and K left to shop… those girls put my feminine shopping genes to shame. I’m a terrible shopper and I avoid it as much as possible. The boys and I walked up the hill toward the massive mystery building. Here’s the funny thing about it. That road never ended… seriously. We were maybe a half mile from the top and it took us close to thirty minutes to get up there.
Tonight we have a traditional Czech dinner. We played a little hat game, of which someone had a video, alas not me. Also, they poured wine out of this super cool glass thing. I searched everywhere and could not find what it is called! It’s gravity fed and looks like something I could break pretty easily.
They lovely people hosting our dinner also sang some really lovely traditional songs. They were really good, but the girl singing the duet kept making this sound. I tried to find a video or sound clip either, but the language difference makes it hard. It was this screech/yee-haw/wounded bird sound. It kind of became the annoying, obnoxious friendship call of our tour. Awkward silence? Make that awful sound. I have actually been searching the internet for it for days and I can’t find it anywhere!
After the dinner, we walked back to old town square to watch the astronomical clock do its tricks and change the hour. We stood there in the square for a little bit, enjoying a beautiful night and the last one we would be spending in a city that had quickly become one of my favorites. We got all sentimental and took some photos and then headed off to Bed bar.
Bed Lounge is super chill and trendy, right in the heart of Prague. The whole perimeter is lined with comfy, pillow-laden….. yep… you’ve guessed it: BEDS. Ordinarily, I would love a place like this. However, being completely sleep deprived and possibly having had just a litttle too much wine at dinner, I was freaking out a little. I just had this nightmarish vision in my head of me, waking up on the bed in the bar, having no idea where I was and missing the transport to the next city.
I paced around the bar, nervously, until my lovely group of friends showed mercy and walked with me back to the hotel. (I was forbidden to do so by myself.) Not before our FABULOUS song came on and this happened:
I don’t have a lot to write about this night, even though this bar was one of the everyone else’s overall favorites of the trip. I think lack of sleep and worry kept me a bit distracted! I know I’m pretty far behind on these at this point, but I have to pick up the pace so I can tell you all about the whole mess of other things that are going on right now… not to mention two more trips!