The ‘F’ Word.

It’s time to talk about it.

The F word.

Fat.

Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.Fat.

I mean this is America, right? We are the world obesity leader with a startling 30.6% of the population being obese, according to NationMaster’s statistics. So we’ve got to talk about it eventually. January 1, being New Year’s Day, is the day all of those weight loss resolutions start.

I have had the pleasure in my 24 years to be surrounded predominantly by woman who have never struggled with their weight. Almost all of my friends, throughout my life, have been gifted with the metabolism of a six year old on crack cocaine, but I really would like to tackle this post from a vantage point that most don’t: NOT the place of the sad, overwhelmed victim.

I have never in my life faced a legion of angry cupcakes bent on my destruction, forced to eat my way to safety. I’ve never been threatened or manipulated into accidentally eating fatty, carby foods. (And here’s the one that will make some of my fellow fatties angry) I’ve never been able to say that “I can’t help it”. Every time that I have put something to my lips, I knew whether it was a good decision or a bad one.

The only thing that I am better at than losing weight, is finding it.

In June of 2010, I saw a picture of myself… and gagged. No seriously. Like vomited in my mouth and choked it back. Denial can be a thick veil:

No seriously. This is yuck.

No seriously. This is yuck.

So I buckled down and worked my butt off. Quite literally. Seriously. I played sports in high school, but there isn’t a lot of distance running in volleyball. I built myself up to doing Zumba, Kickboxing and Hot Yoga just about every day of the week. And then it wasn’t enough, so I started running. Short and slow. In October of 2011, I did the 6.6 mile, Big Hit Quarter Marathon. Proudest moment of my life. Size 6 when I wasn’t bloated, 8 when I was.

I did that. 38.4lbs. GONE.

I did that. 38.4lbs. GONE.

Then I got bronchitis… then it was too cold to run…. then it was spring and I was dating someone… then it was the hottest summer on record and I was NOT running in 104 degree heat… then I broke up with that someone… then I was mad and mad tastes a lot like macaroni and cheese. This is in June at Stephanie’s wedding. I have refused most people’s’ efforts to snap me on film since then and for good reason. I’m not back where I started… But I’m 20lbs closer. And those 20lbs have GOT to go.

Anyone getting a little pukey?

Anyone getting a little pukey?

So back on the horse, or treadmill, I suppose. I know New Year’s Resolutions to lose weight aren’t new. This is not a resolution. I’m great at dieting. Since my sewing machine is broken, I guess I’ll gripe about missing carbs and forcing myself to drink a few liters of water a day. Maybe I’ll cook some yummy healthy food. If it costs me a gall bladder, sweet little Annabelle is going to have a healthy godmother for her christening.

Oh and I’m working on my Liebster post. But I’m a procrastinator.

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8 responses to “The ‘F’ Word.

  1. When I find myself in one of those “I don’t want to exercise” moods (which is every time I think about working out) I find the motivation to at least get ready for a run (putting on shoes and workout clothes). Then I piddle around for an hour or so. Then I go outside and stand there and decide that either I start running or my neighbors will think I’m just a crazy lady who stands outside. It works for me!

    • Haha! That’s usually the approach I have to take… Or getting on the treadmill next to the person who looks the most in shape… my competitive nature takes over from there. (Although I usually can’t walk in the morning when I do that)

      Next, if I can teach myself to eat some of that stuff you’re cooking over there in Arizona, I’d be set!

      • Girl, don’t I know it. Although, I don’t know if the thought of a cheeseburger will ever actually not be appealing. If I say it often enough to other people sometimes I start to believe it myself…

        But on the inside, my squish is whispering things like, “I wish you would shut up and just eat that cheeseburger, tubby”

  2. Losing weight is the hardest battle to win espically when I have already had two kids before I am 24. I have always battled with my weight and have lost it and gained it several times. I know now it is only by the grace of God that I am getting the motivation to lose this weight I have gained. So I will also pray for you as a sister in Christ that you can lose the weight that you want to lose and be able to keep it off, which is where I fall short alot of times.
    Love you sweetheart

  3. Sara, wait until you are pregnant and you have uncontrollable urges to eat entire boxes of Fudge Rounds in one sitting. So far, I’ve managed to limit myself to two at a time, but I have had 6 in one day :/

    And yes! Annabelle needs a healthy godmother! Though, I keep dreaming that she is actually a he, and you may have a godson instead. Haha. Let’s hope not :/

    • Nah, I kinda get the cravings thing… except that you have a chemical/hormonal excuse. I do not. I ate an entire tube of Lay’s Stax Salt and Vinegar chips.

      That’s another thing I’m looking forward to in May… England’s S&V ‘crisps’ are YUM.

      And besides, if Nannerbelle turns out to be a sir, him and Milo can be BFFs!

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