Dear Woodwork, I think the latch on your gate is broken.

Now, this is something that I never have foreseen myself complaining about. I have good foresight too. I fully anticipate to find myself snivelling about hot flashes, mortgage payments, milk prices and peeing on myself a little when I  sneeze/cough/laugh/breathe. But this? Nay, never.

I’ve been in a fairly serious relationship for a little while now, very contentedly, I might add. In the last week, these boys….guys… men…. have been coming out of the woodwork! Trying to hang out.  Have dinner. Graval at my feet. Whatever.

These are also men from the strangest assortment! Some are old flames. Some are guys I’ve just met. Some are MARRIED… WITH CHILDREN. I really just don’t get it. Not that I don’t think I’m a prize, but am I really THAT different from a few months ago?

Now, none of you business majors need to come preaching to me about the law of Supply and Demand. I get it. People want what is no longer available. I’m just feeling a little frustrated. 

Why you no show up for SINGLE Sara?!

I don’t feel like anyone is purposely trying to undermine my relationship. This is not an episode of Pretty Little Liars. I am not recieving annonymous text messages threatening to kill my friends if I don’t break up with my boyfriend. I’m just having a hard time finding the best way to inform dudes that it isn’t appropriate to hang out alone, in your apartment, late in the evening… with out coming across like a Victorian era prude.

I’ll do it! I swear!

Guys. we both know that no one wants a skeezy girl, so why be the one who is testing someone else’s relationship? I’m happy. You should be happy for me too.

Now I’m going to go eat some Chick-Fil-a while wearing a pair of jeggings I bought at JCPenney. I feel like that should bring balance to my day. And don’t you judge me! Antoine Dodson told me it was okay. So run and tell that.


2 responses to “Dear Woodwork, I think the latch on your gate is broken.

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